A Bit of Nasty Business

I found the bathroom on my own, flipped on the light switch, and lifted the toilet seat to find the abomination lurking, waiting for me there.

    This insult was obviously an act of aggression on her part. 

    This mountain of human shit was left here, not by accident as she would have me believe, but on purpose.  I could feel the hostility being broadcast off of this pile of waste in waves.  I could sense a swarm of animosity, circling over the toilet bowl and materializing into a hand, and then a finger, pointed straight at me.  I would not bear this insult a moment longer.

   Unzipping my pants, I began to piss before my cock was even properly aimed at this stinking atrocity, and I felt a stir of satisfaction as I noted a generous portion of my spray actually landed only near, and not entirely in, the toilet.  With gritted teeth and acerbic ferocity I pissed for all I was worth on this mass of filth, and my stream was powerful enough to eventually break through this brown matter entirely, severing the pile north to south, and as the halves fell away from one another in slow motion, and slid lazily under the surface of the water, defeated, the only thing that could be heard was my steady stream still.  I had beat her.   At her own ugly game, I had beat her.  My unbiased organ had convincingly played judge, jury and executioner in this sordid  business.  Justice had been served, and the truth always prevails in such matters. 

   Shaking the last bit of urine from my sagacious member, I triumphantly tucked myself away, zipped, stood up straight and admired myself smiling back at me from the mirror on the wall behind the toilet.   You handsome fucker you, I thought. 

  I watched my hand hover for a moment, reflected in the chrome handle with which one push I could send this stinking mess all to hell.  Wait.  No.  That’s right.   Slowly, I let my hand fall back to my side, and took one last good long look at myself, adjusted my hair pretty, then rifled through her medicine cabinet looking for something, anything, to help me make it through this day.