Friday, August 10, 2012

A quick note regarding 'honesty' :

A)   I always try to be honest with the people in my life.    Especially about my feelings, and I have always been aware of trying to provide a safe and reliable receptacle for other people's honest admissions and critiques.

B)  Everyone tells you they want you to be honest, and that they themselves are honest,  but history teaches us that this is not the case.

C) I am not talking about that type of rude or cruel honesty here like when asked about your special person's footwear and you say "I think those shoes are ugly"  - I am talking about mining of the soul for real truth here, truth which can be offered in a pleasant way, or at least not an unpleasant way.

D)  I think I have finally found one person, well, one 'new' person other than the one or maybe two I have had for the last twenty-plus years, who is also honest,  AND IT MAKES ALL THE DIFFERENCE IN MY LIFE.   This is something I absolutely needed, required, and I somehow got it.  I will provide examples of this soon here when more time allows.

E) I do not understand what sort of a life one lives when one is not able to live true to the beliefs they know to be true, or can not say the true thoughts about their feelings or actions to the people they are supposed to care about.     How does that work?   Is it about fooling oneself?   Straddling either side of that line, how does one maintain respect for oneself or those people they are lying to?

F)  Is this a fair conclusion:  People do not want to receive or witness your example of real honesty because it will make them aware that they are not honest people themselves and become uncomfortable in that moment?

G)  The real purpose of this entry was to quickly record that I am actually happy right now (this observation about myself/ my dear peoples)  , and however long it took for me to get to this place, it has been worth it.