The light came in from the back lot, yellow and almost sideways through the big windows with the chicken-wire mesh cast in each pane. The light made her face look orange there in the dark room. Her eyes were blue, but you could not tell what color they were by this jaundiced illumination. He knew her eyes were blue, and if he were awake he would tell you he remembered where he was standing and what she was wearing the first time he ever saw her blue eyes, but he was asleep. His back was turned to her and it was quiet in this room except for his steady breathing and an occasional creak from the building.
Why is the bedroom so cold? Turn away on your side.
She thought about this song right now and how she used to listen to it in high school all the time, back when she wore too much mascara and bought her jeans pre-torn from the tacky store in the mall.
She did feel cold, but it was not coming from his turned back. She felt cold with her secret. She imagined it hard and dull and rough and she pictured it resting in her center, somewhere beside her stomach , behind her heart. The light from outside could never help find this thing inside her. She knew if she told him, she could rid herself of this cancer. She was afraid of what he would say or do.
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