It is true: I was beginning to feel unhappy or depressed or something of that nature again today. Is it just the money thing? I don't think so. I experience a bit of frustration about other things, but I am able to remind myself just how shitty things can feel, how unlucky a person can become, and anything bothering me shrivels in comparison.
So: The Safeway Walk. It has become a much-abbreviated-yet-similar-excursion to the Bridge Walk. I can do a loop to Safeway in about ten minutes, including checkout. My mind still drifts and pponders about the thoughts of the day and problems if any, or can frolic in a happy thought if one exists. .. ? What was my point? I don't remember exactly, but I returned from Safeway in a good mood. An excellent mood? I became aware of a sensation I was having, I felt like this ship was just about to set sail, and I am on board. I think you are going to be here with me, or I will run into you out there somewhere. I don't know if these are crazy thoughts or not. Are they? I think you are going with me. In my mind you are with me, going with me.
This shit here is good shit. This is the good shit. This is going to be a particularly productive month, and if it is not, forget about everything, because I know for myself, I am not going to feel more optimistic and industrious again as I do now, and short of winning the lottery this is not going to get any closer by itself. So, do your part and then pack your shit.
I have other more interesting things to type. I am going to go do that soon, now I have other things I have to attend to out in that fucking big room full of cars.
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