5/18/2012
Dear Portland Parking Enforcement People :
I recently bought this
vehicle, a 1999 Land Rover
Discovery Tennessee plate # 974JSD
. I also recently (February 2012) Moved into a house at 1517 SW 17TH
st, Portland OR 97201.
On 4/27/2012, I went outside to find two
parking tickets on my car. One was for parking in a ‘loading
zone’ directly in front of
my house. It was
my understanding that that space had a 20 minute time limit from 7AM-8PM
M-Friday, and I was issued this ticket at 7:11 in the morning, less than 20 minutes before the
enforced time of 7:20 - I do not think I should be
responsible for this parking ticket because it was actually issued before it
would have been a violation.
At the same
time I was issued another ticket
for expired registration (more than 90 days current) for $140 –
I actually had a trip permit at the time hanging in the car that was not
observed by the parking officer. I should not be responsible for this
ticket either.
In
the meantime I have sold the vehicle for scrap, as it was suffering from a
number of complicated problems. Good Riddance to that one, I say. It is gone, and I want it’s associated parking violations
to be gone along with it.
I will not be haunted by its memory, or semi-paranoid visions of parking enforcement
officers lurking nefariously in their tiny carts, waiting to descend upon me,
like vultures upon something dying or already dead. The car is gone, and I want nothing more to do
with it, and I say the parking citations issued on that hideous morning are
invalid, and predatory to boot.
Please find the enclosed afore-mentioned citations. I recommend you shred or
burn them, whichever is easiest for you there in your office. If you feel
that you want to pursue the issue further, if you feel your agent was justified in their issuance
of said citations, if you
feel truly righteous in this matter, then by all means make a copy for your records
and then mail to them to me again
at my address there in Sector A and hear from my lawyer in short order!
Please forgive me for bleeding all over the citations and envelopes
provided for them. I
am in fact a hemophiliac with high blood pressure and discovering the tickets
that morning sent me into a spell. I did not bleed on them on purpose, as I have
been accused of doing in the past,
it was due to circumstances beyond my control and I apologize. I am not meant to be long
here in this world, but please, do not let that influence your decision to
blight my final days here on this Earth with your parking citations. If a demand must be made
for payment, I suppose this sort of thing may be best handled in probate court
after my passing… I’m sorry, I digress. The
point was, I AM sorry for bleeding
on your citations.
I can be
contacted at 503-505-7113 , and all correspondence can be mailed to me at my
residence: 1517 SW 17TH ST, Portland OR 97201 -
Thank you, Zak Mosieur
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