Sailboat Story Continued

May 18th, 2004
Day ---4?
Fayetteville, Arkansas
Almost Noontime, Central TZ

So here I am, on a front porch swing, just sitting, on my way to the boat.

Drove about 950 miles yesterday to arrive here around 12:30 AM or so, to be greeted to a little "party" type situation --

I like the uncomfortable awkward experiences. So here you go!

Within an hour I am doing lines of coke off Anna's bed with her brother, some other guy, and two semi-dimwitted coeds.

No one would be quiet or give a man his rest of course, but finally, 4 AM or such a pad was placed at the side of the bed, and after a small debate between Jone's siblings as to whether Xanax or some other drug I havent heard of may be more effective, and appropriate to my beginner status of medicance, tiny pills were supplied and a short time later I slept.

One visit to the restroom at night to drain (trying as hard as I could to be quiet, including bouncing my spray off the back of the bowl as to not splash(like at Willow's a few weeks before)), and up at an early 10 AM (well that's 8 AM Pacific!) Anna went out to look at a house or something so I sponged off, walked to find an espresso shed, bought my coffee, and returned.

Pacing a few moments later I began doing dishes, and unclogged the tub (producing with my thrusts, a plae, blue, nitrile glove, just one, that surfaced through a miasma of brown rusty water and tiny scraps of a plastic bag.) Cool. At least I fixed something today.

Did some curls, now catching up with some "writing" I like to. I would like to write more often. I always feel so pressed for time. No time. Will this all change soon??

So today my head is still cloudy, or foggy, or whatever. Well hang out here today, and push off for New Orleans tomorrow morning. I should be off my boat by Saturday or Sunday at the latest.

GOOD NEWS!

I've gone almost four days with nothing to eat but beef jerky and Altoid sours. Can this be the new diet craze? I don't even feel hungry, and the pounds seem to just be melting away. Also, other than a beer last night, no drinking either. I hope the whites of my eyes become white again soon. See we shall. Ok, off to go look at Pinzgauers and shoot turtles.



May 21? 04 Saturday afternoon, 5:20 PM Eastern

I'm on my boat. This is probably the biggest vehicle I will ever own. 55 feet. I hear the sloshing whisper of the water against "her" sides.

Oh, the boat -

So, after the dude I bought the boat from didn' show or call me back for about an hour this morning, I was convinced I was an Ebay victim to the tune of $7900 (plus expenses so far) but he called, and I unloaded my gun. Not long after, I boarded the boat.

I got depressed.

This is probably too much work for me. Rotton these. Seized those. Fucking church boat. Dingy looks like shit too. $1100 for THAT? Fuck YOU! But. No matter what, I bought a sail boat sight unseen, and drove cross country 4200 miles to board the fucker. Yep. So I was very upset and depressed for about 5 hours, now I am beginning to like it.

Fuck these people, I like the boat, though. Too bad it can't move. I've bonked my head several times already, pumped a monster shit out of the "head". Where does it go? Will stroke, next on the list, - and will try to stay here all day tomorrow. I'm having my first drink in several days and will follow that up with some "nighty-nights".

Next day, on the boat. Almost 5 PM EST

Suffice it to say, I hate boats. At least I found out I had a total complete meltdown today. I would have left if my money and computer and other shit weren't on my boat.

I had to row the dingy to shore. (The guy I bought it from kept the engine as a result of one of my most near-sighted bargaining episodes (the boat was only a mile from shore and I felt I could use the exercise of rowing)).

Then drove my crippled Range Rover around looking for the internet cafe. I finally found one. The sign said "Open At Noon". I waited until 1 PM. Not open. During this monstrous display of submission, I also finally decided to eat. I went to three restaurants, and was not served in as prompt or timely a manner as I feel entitled to (No, really). So I showed them, and just up and left, Zak-style.

Shitty service down here, remember to tell everyone. Entirely annoyed, finally, I just wanted to row back (Oh, I lost an ore somehow in the dingy earlier, so I bought two more and oar locks)to the big boat, get drunk, and eat some stuff (Just discovered Cuban sandwiches, and had wine, cheese, turkey, and apples. The flood gates had opened.) I put the new oars in, (I also had two bags of rapidly melting ice). Started trying to row, and the oar locks kept popping out of their holes. Not my fault (really). Boat is fucked.) Managed to row about 60 feet from dock, lost an oar lock, and had to paddle back in with only one oar like some raging, off-kilter, Jewish, Pocahantas. By the time I returned to the dock, my Cuban sandwich was drifting sadly about in the bottom of my boat, bumping against apples, bottles of liquor, the final remnants of ice, before sinking, defeated, to the bottom of the boat.

Then, I, determinely ram my dingy into the dock and begin to tie up I have yet, another, old lady, walk up and remind me to come to the hot dog feed at 2:00. I now realize, I can't row out to my boat, I'm stuck. Range Rover is broken, its HOT, I want to drive home, but all my money and stuff is on the big boat, (which at that very moment, decided to resell on Ebay). It is at this time I recieved a call from Kalee. She called me from Eugene. 4,000 miles away, to let me know she has a flat tire and ask me what she should do.

FUCK.

I lost it. I'm screaming how I hate it here, I hate boats, Fuck all these people. Fuck a hot dog. All this in the parking lot with the locals about. I start punching my car, I throw what's left of my bags of ice across the parking lot, screaming, a single word over and over again. Fuck. I am not a boat person. At least I found out, right? Let's say you;re on your boat and you want some batteries, or an apple, or a plastic bag? A huge ordeal to get to shore. And hopefully, when you return to shore, your car works, and has a suspension, and stuff, an, fuck. I still have a 4,002 mile drive home. I'll take my time on the way back though, see some shit, go to a swamp?

Avoid Arkansas.

Final thought. Next stop, sell boat, buy 911 or?? Go to Mexico for a while. Live in LA. Ride my bike 1000 miles somewhere, or walk it? Thanks.